What My Brain Thinks when I Receive Surprising News

It’s weird when one of your good friends dies but you do not know because you were half way around the world and the death was hush-hush due of the nature of it. You come back to your life on this side of the world thinking that this person is alive and you imagine how you are going to prank him once you get home. But then you get the call (or the message) that thwarts your plan.

Your brain goes into shock. You still go to meetings and function properly, especially since you are a guest at your friend’s house and you do not want to bring down the mood. You pretend that everything is OK. It’s not hard. Your brain still has not process the new development. You still answer business calls and deal with problems. But there is a nagging feeling of floating in the air. Your thoughts become transcendental in some sense- you have a bird’s view from up top and see over everyone’s heads. There is a silent humming, like the roaring of the sea muted. The action is all around you, but you become an isolated island midst of all the actions. People come and go. Things get done. You function. Yet at the same time, time stills and you do not function. You can only watch the surrounding waiting for the moment you can rejoin them.

Death is a complicated thing. No tears has been shed yet. It does not really matter how he died. Not to me at least. He’s no longer here.

RIP Lucas Elliott Gordon. I would write a nice pithy eulogy. But I can’t. There are so many memories in my head. I would write a volume.

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